I have learned so many things being a mom for 16 years. Most of my best hacks for motherhood have come from other moms.
We get to take each other’s tips and tricks and use them for ourselves. We get to leave the ones that are not beneficial to us.
It can be seemingly small but it can be a huge help.
For instance, safety pinning the hand towel to the oven door if you have a toddling one year old.
Or how about taking the silverware holder out of the bottom of the dishwasher if you are going to unload or load with the toddler around, because knives.
From one mom I learned that we don’t have to dress our toddlers.
She was watching me wrestle and fight my toddler into clothes and shoes she said ‘Why do you dress him?’ Seemed like a silly question.
But then I thought about it, and I was tired of the battle, and I stopped making him wear clothes, and he ran around in his diaper and he was so happy and so brown and the mail lady called him ‘Tarzan’.
He has since graduated to swim trunks.
My own mom taught me to write love notes to my kids. Some of the kids save them in their special boxes, just like I did.
Another mom taught me to accept help. And why would I think I didn’t need help?
Another mom demonstrated how to help others. She came into my home when I was under a pile of babies and toddlers laundry and dishes and she unloaded the dishwasher and brought me a glass of ice water as I was feeding the newborn, and changed over the laundry and folded a load and ran a vacuum through the living room and emptied out the kitchen sink and changed the toddler’s stink, and began reading books to the lot, all before I was done with baby.
Another mom opened my mind to the idea that doing dishes is enjoyable, and therapeutic, and meditative.
Another mom taught me how to ‘Let go and let God’ when a baby was sick in the NICU and I couldn’t go in, couldn’t hold him, couldn’t feed him, couldn’t help him at all. And it’s amazing for how much we DO for our kids, there is so much more we can’t do. And that’s ok. I know this because another mom shared this wisdom with me.
Another mom taught me to not ‘clean up’ when someone is coming at short notice to visit or have coffee. Just wing that door open with a smile and a hello and allow them to see how lived in our home is. They didn’t come to judge or be impressed. They came because they love me and wanted to see me.
I have learned many of the ‘best ways’ to swaddle a baby.
There was a mom who taught me that babies like to be rocked at different paces.
A mom who showed me a never-fail way to work a burp out of a newborn.
A mom showed me how to make a really good cup of coffee.
Another mom taught me how to put my own needs first.
And yet another taught me how to make sacrifices for others.
One mom helped me realize I get to do what works for me.
A mom taught me the value of good nutrition.
And a mom taught me the value in making homemade donuts with the kids.
I’ve learned some shortcuts from other moms.
Like dress kids for the next day before you put them to bed.
Skip the flat sheet.
Remove the screens before they get ruined.
Get some sunshine.
Use sunblock if you’re going to be in the sun ALL day.
AND
One Jolly Rancher can get a whole basket of laundry folded by a kid.
No nagging involved.
If I can pass one stitch of wisdom on to any other mom it is simply to learn from other moms.
Steal it. Use it. Pass it on.